An unexpected journey

After the birth of our second born Cohen, it was clear that the blood issues I had with luke's delivery seem to be a pattern with my pregnancies. I hemorrhage during delivery. Vaginal deliveries are risky enough but if there was an emergency and a c-section was necessary that would be extra risky with my condition. I know people that have the same condition that had to have an emergency c-section and because they couldn't stop the bleeding had to have a hysterectomy. It's so risky and scary.

After weighing the risks I decided I was done birthing babies. My husband on the other hand was having a harder time coming to a final decision. Which is why he didn't do anything permanent. I knew I didn't want to birth anymore babies but I still had a desire for more children. I have always had a heart for adoption ever since I was a young girl. Adoption was something he had never thought about. He had a few reservations. We finally decided fostering young children would be a good way to share our home and love for little ones without having to make a final decision. One evening while my husband and I were discussing foster parenting, he looked at me with such sadness and said "I think it would be so heartbreaking having to send them back to their families." After time our desire to foster led to a desire to foster to adopt. I was beyond elated, I started looking up paperwork and was getting the process started. That was in January.

Mid February I started getting a strange feeling that I couldn't shake. Finally on February 15 I woke my husband and said..

"I think I'm pregnant."

He laughed.. and laughed. "There's no way!" He said through his laughter.

Well, mother's intuition was right.

There was no denying it or misreading the stick. PREGNANT! (emphasis mine)

I initially had a lot of fear and anxiety. I had no idea how far along I was because for the life of me I couldn't remember my LMP. And I had to supplement progesterone with both of my boys. It is believed that my miscarriages were due to low progesterone. I needed to get to a doctor and start the progesterone! But I found out on a Friday. There was nothing I could do but wait until the following week to get into the doctor.

I had a lot of emotions in the waiting period, I didn't want another pregnancy. Another child yes, but a pregnancy is frightening. I was upset with my husband. I cried... a lot. I was fearful I would lose the baby but at the same time fearful of going through another pregnancy and birthing process. In the midst of all of this I was in a state of shock. When I finally was able to get the test to see where my progesterone levels were I was shocked. It came back at 17.5. I could never get it that high with my other pregnancies even after taking supplements. Usually it's like a 8 or 9. Crazy! The Lord provided exactly what I needed to carry this pregnancy through. I didn't need to take progesterone!! If any of you know how you take progesterone you know why that is a HUGE blessing. ;)

After a few sonograms and guessing when my cycle was in December (My LMP was in January but the only cycle date I can remember is in December. From those dates guessed when my LMP was in January. Boy is that confusing or what?!) we think we have a due date. October 15.

Here's a sono taken at 9 weeks (I was 6 weeks when we found out I was pregnant). Look at that detail!! Hands, arms, head ear, legs and at the bottom you can see the feet!!

At the time of writing this I am 14 weeks. This pregnancy has been very different from my other two. With the other two I was vomiting non. stop. Seriously several times a day. It didn't matter if I ate every few hours or what.. I threw up. With this pregnancy I've only thrown up a handful of times (is that tmi?) and it's only because I waited too long to eat.  Even though I really haven't been sick I have felt sick. Especially in the mornings. yuck. I'm also battling migraines which leaves me in the bed for a few days at a time. And of course exhaustion but now that I'm in my second trimester I have a little bit more energy.

Now that I'm over the initial shock of this surprise I am very excited. I'm sure as my due date draws near I will be plagued with all the same fears. But that's why I am learning to trust Him through this process.

We have also put the adoption stuff on hold for the time being. We'll revisit that in the future. For now will you please join us in praying for this little one and for the birth!

ETA: Many of you know our story of trying to conceive with our boys. Getting pregnant was never an easy process for us but this pregnancy happened the first time we got a few dates mixed up. You have no idea how insane that is at least for us. The Lord had such a hand in that but I also contribute the sudden state of "fertile myrtle" to our drastic diet changes we've made this past year. We removed 80% of all processed and GMO foods. I have a post coming to explain that further. Now that I'm feeling a little bit better blogging can get back to it's regular scheduled programming.

Also adding: I apologize to those who read this before having a chance to proof read it. Oh goodness!